Five Minute Friday - Willing

Every week I (try to) participate in a Flash Mob of Writers (even though I’m not really a writer).  We write for 5 minutes on a given prompt.  No editing, no backtracking.  Link up here and then we, no ifs ands or buts, no excuses, leave a little bit of love with the person who linked up before us.

I missed the last two weeks.  I was fresh out of ideas – and completely swamped – but LisaJo mentioned something last night.  The basic gist was that if you don’t make yourself make time to write, it gets harder.  Agreed.  100%.  So, here I am with:

WILLING

I find myself prefacing a lot of my requests of people with “Would you be willing…”  I don’t know exactly why, I guess it just sounds more polite than “Can you?” 

I started thinking about whether *I* am willing to do all I am asked.  I am happy to do the easy or fun things.  But, not always willing to do the hard things.  Even if someone doesn’t ask me.  Hmmmm….

My OneWord365 for this year is “Quiet”.  This has come to mean a couple things to me over the last two months.  One, I am spending time reading His Word.  Almost every day. (sheepish grin).  Am I willing to give up some of my sleep for the Lord so it can be every day?

Quiet also means no more yelling.  I get frustrated easily.  I am a mom of 4 and I’ve been yelling a lot over the last few years.  Am I willing to change how I communicate with the kids?

Lately, I’ve been feeling a tug on my heart that I am doing too much outside of my home.  Too much volunteering.  Too much saying yes when someone asks if I am willing to help.  Ouch.  Am I willing to say no?

This, I admit, is hard.  I love to volunteer.  I love to help.  But, when I’m too tired to read His Word.  Or too tired to talk pleasantly with my children.  To discipline them appropriately and not get frustrated.

Am I willing?  

Five Minute Friday - Garden

Once a week, I participate in a flash mob of writers, called Five Minute Friday.  We write for 5 minutes on a given prompt, no editing, no backtracking, no overthinking and link up here.  Then, no ifs ands or buts, we visit those who linked up before us and share some love.  That is the rule, and the heart of the this community.

This week's word was Garden - and the words just poured out.

Go.


What immediately comes to mind are tomatoes.  Tomatoes that must be staked and carefully tended in order to produce fruit.  And how I love to keep my children close to me, so that they grow up straight and tall, producing fruit with their lives.

And how God wants us to stay close to Him.  Staked to Him.  Bound to Him by His promises.  So that we, too, grow up straight and strong.  And that they may know us by our fruit.

Why?  Why do I keep my children close to me?  Because I love them, with all my heart.  And by keeping them near me, they can learn from me.  Good.  And bad, GULP. 

Why does God desire us to be close to Him?  Because He loves us.  He loves us more than we could ever imagine.  How do I get closer to Him, though?  That’s been my struggle for years.  This year, though, it came to me.  Through my OneWord365.  Quiet.

Quiet time in His presence. Daily interactions, reading His word.  Prayer.  That’s a huge one for me.  I’m still learning “how” to pray.  But, mostly, I’m being quiet.  Listening for that still quiet voice that loves ME.


Stop.

Five Minute Friday - Hero

Every week, I join a flash mob of writers called Five Minute Friday.  We write for 5 minutes on a given word and then link up here.  Then, no ifs ands or buts, we visit the person who linked up before us and share some love. 

This weeks word was Hero.

Go.

When I think about the word HERO many things come to mind.  The first is Superman, Batman, and others like them.  I also think about our military and first responders – and how they put their lives on the line every day.  They are truly heros to many people.

But, what jumped to the front of my mind was my high school calculus teacher.  What?!?  A Calculus teacher?  Seriously?

Yes. 

I went to a high school for kids who excelled in math and science.  I was “good” at math, but learning how to navigate high school and taking challenging courses took it’s toll on my grades.  I squeaked out of Geometry with a B and Algebra II Trig wasn’t much better.  Math Analysis nearly did me in, I earned a C.  Barely.  I know now that I just didn’t know how to study for math, but back then, I just felt dumb.  Like I didn’t really belong at that school.  Like I should go back to my base school and give up. 

But, I was determined to stick it out – AND do well.  You see, I had a dream of going to the Naval Academy, so I knew I was in a good place.  I knew that I needed to take the hardest Calculus course there was, in order to prove to “them” that I could do it.  I argued and argued with my counselor about taking Calculus BC – the equivalent of College Calculus 1 and 2.  She wanted me to take Calculus AB – just Calculus 1.  I won the argument – with the strict admonition that if my grade slipped below a C+, I was going to be yanked back to AB.

Challenge issued – and accepted.

I struggled.  Oh, wow, did I struggle. 

But, Dr. Stallings was at school over an hour before the day started and his door was open.  He ate lunch in the classroom and his door was open.  He was there after school and his door was open.  It got so if he was in the classroom, so was I.  We solved problem set after problem set. 

We went over everything.  Again. And again.

And again.

I got C+s, I even got a B one quarter.  Oh, happy day!

Then, came the final exam.  2 hours.  Every topic from September to June.  My exam was the last exam of the week.  School was dismissed after 2 exams each day.  I stayed after EVERY DAY to study with Dr. Stallings. 

I finished the exam.  He graded it RIGHT THEN! 

I missed one question.  One!  ONE!!!!! 

My final grade in that class was an A.  All of the Cs and Bs were turned into As because he knew how hard I had worked.  And that I finally “got it!”  I earned that A through perseverance.

Dr. Stallings is why I am now studying to be a math teacher – 20 years later.  My desire is to be a teacher like he was – always available for a student who is struggling.

He was a hero to me – and I hope to be a hero to another student.  Paying it forward.

Stop.

Five Minute Friday - Visit

Once a week, I join a flash mob of writers.  We write for 5 minutes on a prompt, no editing, no backtracking, no overthinking.  We link up here.  Then, no ifs, ands, or buts, we visit the person who linked up before us and leave them some love. That is the rule - and the heart of this community.

This week's word was VISIT

GO:

I had to laugh when I saw the prompt for this week, as I just came back from a visit to the Emergency Room.  While setting the Stone Table on a platform as stage crew for Narnia: the Musical, I stepped/fell off the platform.  I landed badly and broke the outer bone on my left foot.  OUCH!

But, as I considered the word, I went back to the scene that was taking place on stage right after I fell.  For those who are not familiar with The Chronicles of Narnia, they are widely considered to be an allegory to Christ.  Because of my injury, I was able to watch the scene unfold, rather than getting ready for the next scene change.  In this scene, Aslan volunteers to die at the hand of the White Witch in the place of Edmund, who betrayed his family.   I was near tears myself as I watched Aslan being led meekly to the Table.

Edmund, and his two sisters, watch as Aslan is killed - and Edmund is noticeably shaken by what he has witnessed.  The girls cry and mourn their beloved lion.  Edmund, I think, realizes how undeserving he is of the sacrifice Aslan made - and rallies to support his family in their battle against the White Witch.

Wow!  Such a powerful scene.   Then, Aslan defeats death and the table cracks.

The children all rejoice when Aslan appears later in the play - and helps them to defeat the White Witch.

So much like Christ's sacrifice for us.  We, too, are undeserving, but He steps in to take the punishment that is our due.

We are broken, but He makes us whole again.

STOP.

Snow Day Quiet

Confession - I am a yeller.  Not all the time, but enough.  Enough that I want to stop.  I took a step back a month or so ago and realized that when I reach the "yell" point it is usually because I've done something wrong.  Ouch.

I am incredibly guilty of taking our days off - be they weekends, vacation days, or snow days - and using them to get "my stuff" done - rather than taking the time to "be with" the kids.  We are on the go so much with 4 kids in activities that I need to take these slow down moments and treasure them.  So, today, I tried.  I did get something done "for me," but since it didn't take an exorbitant amount of time - and it needed to be done.

But, once it was roasting in the oven, I could catch snowflakes on a dark piece of paper:

Then, I got the stock in the pot to simmer:

And, then we made microscope slides of snowflakes:

And hooked the computer up to the microscope:

And looked at the slide of the snowflake (SO COOL!!):

I went outside to take a few pictures of the snow:

And after dinner, we made snow cream:

And did a science experiment:

The jar on the left is loosely packed, the jar on the right tightly packed with snow

This is how much water was left in each jar after melting, quite the difference.

Amazingly, by engaging the children - off and on through the day - I didn't yell.  Not once.  Hmmmm.....

One Word 365 January Check-in - Quiet

I’m embarking on the OneWord train for the first time this year. My word is Quiet.  There is so much about my life that is NOT quiet, that I knew this was my word almost the second it popped into my head.

A friend of mine is on a journey with her OneWord and posted a January Check-in.  I thought it was a great idea - and a way for me to stay accountable, so here is mine - I will link up here.

What does quiet mean for me?  Right now, it is two-fold.  First, and foremost, is getting back to regular quiet time with the Lord.  I’m terrible about that.  I pretty much always have been.  (hanging my head)    But, I know that I cannot see where God wants me to be if I don’t spend time WITH Him. 

So, the alarm goes off at 5:15 during the week and I drag myself out of bed and find the coffee.   Why 5:15 and not later?  I’m a mom of 4.  I am the school bus, and it leaves at 7:15.  I need every bit of that 2 hours in the morning to get myself up and functioning, get the kids up and functioning, pack 4 lunches, fix breakfast and get everyone out the door.  Remember how I said my life wasn’t quiet?  Yep, right there.

But, now, I stop and spend some time reading His word.  I picked a pretty basic “Read the Bible in One Year” plan.  We did a Jesse Tree the last two Christmases, and I was caught off guard by how much of the Bible I hadn’t read.  This seemed like a good plan. 

I have The Bible app on my tablet – and it is amazing.  It beeps at me every morning at 5:20 to remind me to read.  I open the app and it brings me to today’s reading.  Bonus – it’s backlit so I can read in the dark!  (It’s the little things that make me happy at 5:15)  One of the great things about reading on my tablet is that Google is right there when I am done reading – and if I have a question (or 10), I can type it into Google and get an answer – or 10.  At the very least, I gain additional insight. 

So, for 21 days now, I have risen each morning and spent time with the Lord.  I missed a day or two here and there, but have caught up later in the day.  I don’t always stop to pray right after – but will mull over His word through my morning routine.  Once the kids are off to school, I take a few moments to pray. 

I’m still learning HOW to pray.  Again, I haven’t been consistent with this at all, so it’s hard for me.  I know He will meet me where I am, so my goal for next month is more consistent prayer.

Five Minute Friday - Encouragement

Each week, I am trying to participate in a Flash Mob of writers.  I'm not a writer, I'm a math teacher.  :)  But, I am starting graduate school soon and will be writing papers every week.  !!!  So, I try to take 5 minutes and write to a prompt given each Friday.

This week, I wrote for longer than 5 minutes, because I couldn't stop the words.  I think this is a good thing.

So, here are the basics:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

So, here I GO:

Encouragement

 

When I first started tutoring math, my focus was teaching the math.  My first students were good students, who just needed a little extra help.  Many times, we learned together, because I had forgotten some of the intricate details of Pre-Calculus.  That was okay, because I had at least learned it, and it didn’t take long to remember it.  Tutoring was fun, I enjoyed using my brain outside of “mommyhood”.

Then, three years ago, I started getting students who were really struggling.  They needed my help in a completely different way.  This time, I knew the math, but what I didn’t know was how to teach.  So I learned.  I read blogs from teachers.  I found websites that offered practice problems.  I looked at different math books to see how topics were explained.   But, it still wasn’t quite enough.  Some of my students still struggled week after week.  I’d teach a concept, we’d do the homework, they’d understand it – and then fail a quiz.  I just couldn’t figure out how to help them. 

Then, during one Sunday afternoon full of tutoring sessions – I think there were 7 that day – it hit me.  We were reviewing for mid-term exams.  One young man was wrestling with an Algebra problem that we had solved 20 times already.  He was frustrated, I was frustrated.  He was ready to give up – and I refused to give up on him.  I sat up straight, looked him in the eye, and told him, “YOU CAN DO THIS!  You are smart, you are capable, we’ve studied this material, we’ve gone over it and over it.  You know this.  Stop, take a deep breath and think!”

And he did.  And he got it.  And the next problem, and the one after that. 

It was that day that I realized my job as a tutor was not just helping with homework and explaining difficult concepts.  I was a coach.  My job was to offer encouragement from the sidelines, not run the play for them.  Encouragement.  Show them they had the skills to tackle that difficult problem, with me sitting right there.  I’m not doing it for them, but giving them the power to do it for themselves.

 

Sounds a lot like parenting.  We give our kids the skills to survive without us, from the first step to heading off to college.  Hmmmm…

 

Sounds like our relationship with our Heavenly Father, too.  He’s there, all the time, encouraging us, showing us the Way, but we have to take that step of faith.

Encouragement. 

STOP.

PS - that young man - I'm still working with him.  Math isn't his thing, but I can tell you that his confidence in his abilities has soared since those first days.  He's a great kid and I treasure being part of his life.

Quiet Thoughts

My Scripture readings this morning took me to Genesis Chapters 26-30 (catching up a little from a missed day).  These chapters begin with Isaac blessing Jacob and end with Jacob leaving Laban to return home.  This has always bugged me - how could God allow Jacob to be blessed after he stole the birthright from his brother, Esau.  Yes, yes, I know that Esau sold it to Jacob in Chapter 25 for a bowl of stew, but still.

In digging into the hows and the whys, I found this:

Why did God let Isaac give the blessing to Jacob?
BECAUSE HE CAME IN THE NAME OF HIS ELDER BROTHER whose right it was to receive the blessing.
Because he came in the name of his elder brother.

We have an Elder Brother, Jesus of Nazareth. It is in His name that we receive the blessing of the Father. "Both the one who makes men holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers." Hebrews 2:11 NIV

"Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under Heaven given among men whereby we must be saved." Acts 4:12

Who was Jacob? Jacob is you and Jacob is me. Like him, we have been born with a perverse, self-centered nature. Yet the Second Person of the Godhead is not ashamed to call us brethren if we come to the Father in His name, whose right it is to receive the blessing.

Are we worthy of the blessing? No, but because He is worthy, and because we come in His name, the Father gives us the blessing. Humanity's only hope is to come to the Father in the name of our Elder Brother, who is not ashamed to call us brethren.


Digging deeper, I found this:

…[It was] in order that God’s elective plan might continue, not by works but by his call–she was told, “The older shall serve the younger.” (ROM 9:12)

The older and undeserving child, Esau, gave away his birthright on a whim,  to the younger, just as undeserving child, Jacob.

But the whole messed up affair was also a foreshadowing of what would happen more than 1000 years later…

as the Israelites…
the older child…
who had forgotten that the original Jew, Abraham, was saved by faith…
and not by obedience to any “law”…
and began a new way on their own…
getting to get to God, by way of “works of the law”…
a “law” to which was added a multitude of new “laws”…
and the twisting and disregard of the spirit of so many of the original “laws”…
gave away their birthright.
So the new way…
which is the original, and forgotten way of Abraham…
the way of grace bestowed by means of imperfect faith…
takes precedent over the law of Moses.
“The older shall serve the younger.”
“Works of the law” still have their place…
but Grace is the master of any and all “works”.

Hmmm.....

That's a lot to chew on - all from a story I have read and heard so many times and never quite "got."

Five Minute Friday - SEE

I'm participating in a weekly blog link-up called Five Minute Friday.  Here are the basic rules:

Set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. That is the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community. 

So, here I GO.

See.  My mind wandered for a bit.  Then, it hit me.  See.  The Beatitudes.  From my readings this morning.  Matthew, Chapter 5.   "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."  Hmmmm.....  Am I "pure in heart?"  Nope.  But, that brought me back to my one word for this year.  Quiet.  One thing I knew God had been telling me - loudly, I might add :) - over the last several months was that I needed to be quiet before Him.  Spend time in His word, searching for His plan.  If I bumble along in this life, without Him, how am I going to know when I'm doing what He has planned - or if I completely in left field.

Left field is where I end up a lot, it seems.  So, quiet it is.  Quiet time with Him.  EVERY morning.  So, far, 10 days into the year, I've missed one day.  I caught up with my reading plan the next day - and spent my time in prayer while fixing dinner and doing laundry while the kids were home AGAIN because of ice.

Quiet. 

Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.  See.  How I want to be able to see His plan.


STOP.

A Noisy Saturday night

It is most definitely NOT quiet in my house tonight.  I am blogging to the sounds of a chipping hammer in the master bathroom.  What's better, is the fact that the chipping hammer is being operated by my 6-year old daughter.  Hmmmmmm.....

Five Minute Friday: Fight

Okay, I've decided to attempt a new thing - participating in a weekly blog link-up called Five Minute Friday.  Here are the basic rules:

Set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community. 

So, here I GO.

 

Fight

As I ponder the meaning of the word quiet this week, I think about my children a lot.  They argue a lot, but honestly, they only truly fight occasionally.  I guess I should feel blessed in that regard.  But, I really don’t like any of the fighting.  I know that they won’t like each other All. The. Time.  But I don’t want them to hate each other.  Ever.  I cannot even begin to count the number of times I ask them, “would you treat your friends that way?”  I want them to treasure their sibling relationships, love each other, lean on each other.  After all, they will only have each other to discuss childhood memories after dad and I are gone.

Quiet – a calm, peaceful household.  Something I truly desire for this year.

 
Stop.

Quiet

 

Adjective:

• Making little or no noise.  Synonyms: silent, still, hushed
• (of a place, period of time, or situation) without much activity, disturbance, or excitement.  Synonyms: peaceful, tranquil, calm, restful, untroubled.
• Carried out discreetly, secretly, or with moderation.  Synonyms: private, confidential, discreet.
• unobtrusive; not bright or showy.  Synonyms: restrained, subtle.

 

Noun:

• Absence of noise or bustle.  Synonyms: silence, calm.
• Freedom from disturbance or interruption by others. Synonyms: tranquility, serenity.
• A peaceful or settled state of affairs.  Synonyms: calm.

 

Verb:

• Make or become silent, calm or still

One Word 365

This year, instead of New Year's resolutions, I've decided to do something different.

A little over a year ago, I started to get to know someone via Facebook that I'd only really known in passing. She was, I thought, the bravest, most encouraging person I'd come across. Many times, a simple status update would make me stop and think about how I was living my life - whether I was being the person God had planned for me to be.

Through 2013, she showed me how to show grace, even when it was the last thing in the world she wanted to do. Again, I grew, just through knowing her.

So with her encouragement, I am embarking on my own journey with One Word 365 . The basic idea is that the word I choose will guide me as I reflect through the next 365 days.

With that, my word for 2014 is "quiet".